Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The last Hurrah

I am in the 2WW again. Actually about a week into it. This is the last Hurrah for a while. We've decided we are going to put TTC on hold. Another sibling, another BFP. It's all we can take. Matt's brother and his wife chose Christmas day to announce that she is expecting again. The still live with his parents (and have since they got married) they don't help out much with the housework or the bills, their baby is only 8 months old, they expect everyone around them to help take care of him Just hours after announcing they were pregnant again she told him "you have to take him I've had him since we got here!" Like an hour and a half, and he spent most of that being passed around the house. He of course replied with "Give him to Dad or to Stephanie or someone. You know I can't ever get him to go to sleep." Yes, I am bitter. Yes, I am probably acting childish (I certainly did that day). Yes, I am still going to put TTC on hold. We aren't going to be preventing. I don't believe in hormonal birth controls and Matt has a latex allergy anyway so our options would be limited. I won't be trying though. No pills, no herbs, no supplements, no waking up early to temp, no over-examining every freaking change in my body.

It's a relief actually. We decided this on Christmas Day, but I waited until I was sure before writing about it here. We are working on weight-loss now. Fact is.....I'm fat. I got that way by eating whatever I wanted and not exercising much because "it might delay ovulation" or "it might keep me from implanting". I was overweight before I moved out here, but in three years I've gained forty pounds or so. Now I am just fat. For a little while longer.

The day after Christmas I started eating healthier and smaller portions. I also bought two DVD's and plan to get more over the next several weeks. Before we start TTC again Matt and I both want to lose 65 pounds each.
You can view my new weight-loss journal HERE

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